i probably wasnt clear.

i wanted to go back to active duty. right now i'm on temporary retirement at 60% disability.
the military was reassesing my condition to either: permanently retire me (with benifits), let me go active duty, or just let me go (no benifits).
since jan i really really wanted to go back, i worked hard to get in shape. everything i could have done i did. i needed 10 mets on this test to be ok. i got 15. the army doc said i was fit for duty.
the board looked at me and said "unfit" 10% disability.
10% is not enough to be perm retired, so i get no medical benifits or pension.
i'm sad
i wanted either to be active or perm retired with greater than 30% disability so i could always have benifits. i'll probably die from this condition eventually, i don't know if i'll be insurable...which is why i was hoping for military health benifits that come with permanent retirement. these medical test i need are > 7000 bucks a pop, no idea how much the plethora of drugs i need cost, but i'll need them for life...no coverage...

i tried hard...i'm sad, very very sad.
it would have been easier if i had an arm or leg blown off from a mine or rpg...but my heart is broken